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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50780) - you deserved it (18092)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

#20823044
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37148) - you deserved it (17852)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01am - animals - by Tea_baggins (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47708) - you deserved it (17807)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

#20821459
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37608) - you deserved it (17014)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:28am - animals - by fetch boy.. - United States (New York)

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58397) - you deserved it (16429)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, I realized I'm getting my period pretty soon. How? I started crying and throwing plates because I thought we were out of sweet bread. FML

#20825062
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40696) - you deserved it (15836)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:51am - health - by FuckYouMotherNature - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53238) - you deserved it (15785)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after spending the weekend together, my ex turned nasty. I finally had the balls to tell him what a cruel asshole I think he is and really hit him where it hurts. I felt very empowered and strong. That is, until I realized I left my favourite and rather expensive jacket in his apartment. FML

#20854612
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38779) - you deserved it (15404)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:52am - love - by scorned_jacketless_lady (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40762) - you deserved it (15170)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

#20818297
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45611) - you deserved it (15163)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:40am - love - by Msmerfner - United States (California)

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38449) - you deserved it (15132)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46138) - you deserved it (14947)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States



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