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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43601) - you deserved it (3214)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53063) - you deserved it (3210)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

#20766607
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53872) - you deserved it (3209)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML

#20794141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47157) - you deserved it (3198)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK THE CUSTOMER (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42955) - you deserved it (3189)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51451) - you deserved it (3176)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML

#20799037
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44646) - you deserved it (3163)

On 07/23/2013 at 5:51am - love - by foreveralone (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

#20808032
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41928) - you deserved it (3163)

On 07/28/2013 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovenia (Ruse Commune)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47306) - you deserved it (3157)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42733) - you deserved it (3142)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, I was told that I have to apply to keep the job that I've held for the past two years. There are so many other applicants that it's basically a free-for-all. FML

#20813366
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43350) - you deserved it (3140)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:47pm - work - by TheStressComesFree (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband's recent obsession with The Sopranos since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous, when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loaves of bread into it, while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. FML

#20770230
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (3132)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by Not Mrs Soprano (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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