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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

#20804154
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46261) - you deserved it (3441)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

#20803187
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44908) - you deserved it (3430)

On 07/25/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML

#20790014
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49953) - you deserved it (3430)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55594) - you deserved it (3414)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML

#20779851
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53045) - you deserved it (3414)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

#20760905
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49970) - you deserved it (3389)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45669) - you deserved it (3389)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

#20775381
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56045) - you deserved it (3373)

On 07/11/2013 at 12:52am - health - by frustrated - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48111) - you deserved it (3353)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband's recent obsession with The Sopranos since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous, when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loaves of bread into it, while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. FML

#20770230
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33887) - you deserved it (3334)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by Not Mrs Soprano (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

#20808032
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44146) - you deserved it (3330)

On 07/28/2013 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovenia (Ruse Commune)

Today, I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML

#20799037
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46642) - you deserved it (3329)

On 07/23/2013 at 5:51am - love - by foreveralone (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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