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May 2013

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Today, I confessed to mah girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, an left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26438) - you deserved it (133259)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

yesterday whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mrror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Taday I tried to show mah boyfriend's mom a picture of mah prom dress on mah phone. She scrolled to the right to fine a picture of her son , naked.

#20642331
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42208) - you deserved it (73409)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Taday I went on a run!! Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog!! I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled ankle and fell!! The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up!! FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (69310)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

yesterday I was feeling down about bieng te only single person out of a group of eigt friends . Out of desperation I made up "Jonny" a ot fitness instructor wom I recently ooked up wit . Now "Jonny" and I ave been invited to a friends' nigt out . FML

#20659041
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (69065)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, I was hitting on a cute grl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opend Safari on my phone. It opend to my video from Pornhub I watchd yesterday and startd playing, on full volume, through the entre bus. FML

#20638691
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25813) - you deserved it (68168)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, I learned tat binding my stomac wit duct tape isn't wort it to look tin. I also learned te even worse part wen I srieked more loudly tan I sould've wen I tried to discreetly rip it off in istory class.

Today , My Bathroom Floodd . I Frantically Cleand My Apartment As Fast As I Could Before The Plumber Arrivd . Everything Was Finally Clean When I Let Him In . It Wasn't Until After He Finishd That I Noticd I'd Left My Anal Beads In The Shower . There's No Way He Didn't Notice . Mega FML

#20634924
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (55097)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today , a few freshmen jumpd mah fence . They decidd to take a dip in the pool , so I pulld out a paintball gun . I unloadd over 100 rounds , painting there backs bright yellow . It also dyd mah pool yellow , and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair . FML

#20691900
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (54660)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided I would try this feature on banking apphich lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it . The instructions say to rip the check after depositing . The deposit didn't work an now I've got a ripped up paycheck . FML

#20650425
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25073) - you deserved it (50433)

On 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by Checkless chick - United States

TODAY, I HAD A GIANT SCANTRON TEST!! AFTER PUTTING 10 ANSWERS, I NOTICED EVERY SINGLE ANSWER WAS A!! I GOT FREAKED OUT AND STARTED PUTTING RANDOM ANSWERS!! TURNS OUT EVERY ANSWER ON THE TEST WAS A!! I FAILED!! FML

#20636525
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27905) - you deserved it (50206)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, I tried to ( trip ) and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

#20646330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (48617)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, After Calling The Insurance Plan 4 My New IPhone A "huge Waste Of Money", I Promptly Droppd It In The Storehile Trying To Puttd It Into My Pocket, Cracking The Screen!! FML

#20693016
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23105) - you deserved it (48487)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)



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