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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

#20638629
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57404) - you deserved it (7889)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:13am - intimacy - by Who1s269 (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69990) - you deserved it (7862)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

#20642863
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54661) - you deserved it (7860)

On 05/05/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML

#20654207
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42003) - you deserved it (7858)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML

#20684824
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43161) - you deserved it (7761)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

#20643700
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45048) - you deserved it (7522)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53563) - you deserved it (7515)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

#20647234
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47894) - you deserved it (7485)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

#20634352
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46536) - you deserved it (7474)

On 05/01/2013 at 4:21am - love - by brigie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML

#20687072
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45574) - you deserved it (7472)

On 05/26/2013 at 10:15am - love - by thenewgirlfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43620) - you deserved it (7440)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML

#20674650
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49550) - you deserved it (7435)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:47am - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56797) - you deserved it (7307)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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