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May 2013

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Today, I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready for marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th birthday party. She cried when I said no. FML

#20692547
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50691) - you deserved it (10574)

On 05/29/2013 at 1:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

#20664979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53063) - you deserved it (10419)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music. The music stopped and I assumed my iPod's battery had run out. Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving my earphones in. I didn't feel a thing. FML

#20688903
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48197) - you deserved it (10387)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:16am - misc - by stupid (woman) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47161) - you deserved it (10375)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

#20688373
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48261) - you deserved it (10306)

On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

#20649622
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47741) - you deserved it (10054)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)

Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML

#20666712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37495) - you deserved it (9993)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67328) - you deserved it (9924)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37420) - you deserved it (9770)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39254) - you deserved it (9737)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML

#20664891
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42111) - you deserved it (9630)

On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44328) - you deserved it (9584)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49201) - you deserved it (9352)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)



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