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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

#20613283
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47399) - you deserved it (3052)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30829) - you deserved it (3028)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

#20575675
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31065) - you deserved it (3019)

On 04/05/2013 at 1:28am - misc - by slightlyworried (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

#20605914
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38040) - you deserved it (3017)

On 04/19/2013 at 8:16pm - work - by unemployed (woman) - El Salvador (San Salvador)

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

#20623167
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48389) - you deserved it (2973)

On 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

#20569253
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33694) - you deserved it (2906)

On 03/31/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by pissed_off_girl - United States (Virginia)

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
121 comments

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

#20578406
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45852) - you deserved it (2893)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42269) - you deserved it (2891)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML

#20626326
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42146) - you deserved it (2886)

On 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by Satan'sChildren - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54304) - you deserved it (2859)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that is for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago are inside. After they left, the "for rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML

#20622139
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50673) - you deserved it (2762)

On 04/25/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by nodullmoment (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML



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