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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

#20578784
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13265) - you deserved it (36783)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:07am - misc - by kimhinesvoinea - United States

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14191) - you deserved it (35391)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I just remembered that I changed my Gmail display name to "Rice Ball" out of privacy-paranoia a while back. I've been using this same email to apply to several professional jobs. FML

#20592754
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15469) - you deserved it (34838)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by geeshock1987 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

#20628506
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (34259)

On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

#20598583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (32529)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML

#20621724
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36675) - you deserved it (29959)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (28033)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43844) - you deserved it (24379)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38259) - you deserved it (23385)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML

#20587655
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38048) - you deserved it (21846)

On 04/13/2013 at 5:21am - misc - by really? - United States

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51156) - you deserved it (20932)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

#20604222
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46403) - you deserved it (20496)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57724) - you deserved it (19441)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)



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