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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

#20592650
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23190) - you deserved it (46801)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Cupcakes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19339) - you deserved it (45758)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

#20602636
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22801) - you deserved it (45020)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Bulgaria (Sofiya)

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

#20609406
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (42003)

On 04/21/2013 at 2:20am - misc - by Human fly - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

#20584642
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11200) - you deserved it (40986)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML

#20615670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18474) - you deserved it (39902)

On 04/23/2013 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

#20620173
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27201) - you deserved it (39857)

On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML

#20615900
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27688) - you deserved it (39510)

On 04/23/2013 at 2:25pm - work - by hatemyjob (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

#20615692
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17576) - you deserved it (38897)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

#20587958
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37750) - you deserved it (38767)

On 04/13/2013 at 11:52am - love - by saxophone911 - United States

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

#20595392
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20465) - you deserved it (37887)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15704) - you deserved it (37643)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

#20579784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19531) - you deserved it (36928)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States



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