Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her whole life flashed before her eyes. According to her grandmother, my girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML

#20574330
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29853) - you deserved it (3104)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by CrazyBitch - United States (California)

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34648) - you deserved it (3096)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

#20581805
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (3085)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:18am - work - by steppppphhhhhh - United States (California)

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46325) - you deserved it (3081)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63714) - you deserved it (3051)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my whole family made an hour-long drive to a restaurant that's just a few minutes away from my place. I wasn't invited. FML

#20626789
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44455) - you deserved it (3049)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by lonesome - Canada

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

#20613283
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47210) - you deserved it (3041)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43265) - you deserved it (3036)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36125) - you deserved it (3034)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (3031)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42939) - you deserved it (3027)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (3018)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

#20605914
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37897) - you deserved it (3003)

On 04/19/2013 at 8:16pm - work - by unemployed (woman) - El Salvador (San Salvador)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: