Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically bieng placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43407) - you deserved it (3704)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in teres, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away an haven't a clue how she found outhere looool I live. mega FML

#20611227
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55507) - you deserved it (3702)

On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

2DAY I WENT TO THE DOCTOR TO INQURE ABOUT THE NASTY RASH ON ARMS. HE CONCLUDD THAT I'M ALLERGIC TO BEER AND THE RASH WILL GO AWAY IF I STAY AWAY FROM IT. I'M A BARTENDER. FML

#20592891
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49249) - you deserved it (3662)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States

Today, I had a big party plannd. All but one of the guests cancelld. See u at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46298) - you deserved it (3650)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, mah boyfriend dumpd me because he says I ned to leren how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because mah dad recently passd away, mah best friend turnd on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of mah dreams. FML

#20625067
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55386) - you deserved it (3637)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today , it's mah wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look lyk The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine mah doctor gave me only rritates it more. My future husband asks , "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. fat FML

#20633099
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43052) - you deserved it (3634)

On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying ( YOLO ) or ( Swag ). He's going to be ere 4 a week. FML

#20572695
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (3610)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by fuck YOLO - United States (California)

Today, I was yelld athile I was shopping by some lady, because she saw mah tattoo on mah arm. She screamd that I'm the ( spawn of Satan ) and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39954) - you deserved it (3597)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, working in customer support, I receivd a call from a woman who'd just been robbd!! My supervisor askd wat was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical!! He took mah looool phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up!! I take order from this man!! real FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40299) - you deserved it (3595)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, I Got Cut From Mah Track Team. My Coach Told Me It Was Because Mah Sprint Were "too Fast" For His Liking. Huh? FML

#20602567
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53944) - you deserved it (3595)

On 04/18/2013 at 4:34pm - misc - by bhnja_ (man) - Philippines (Mandaue)

Today, I was muggd by a street preacer. Te same oneo'd earlier in te day screamd at me for being an evil sinner.

#20611067
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45208) - you deserved it (3592)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by wallet? GONE (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread!! No one will tell me wat was said, cuz I apparently "know full well" wat I did!! FML

#20624422
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49956) - you deserved it (3586)

On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States

Today, my psyco an now ex-grlfriend accused me of ceating on er wit my own moter . FML

#20625307
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54135) - you deserved it (3578)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: