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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

#20612533
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68749) - you deserved it (4858)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:58am - love - by Stupid (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56846) - you deserved it (4826)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

#20596513
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58399) - you deserved it (4797)

On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML

#20571699
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37615) - you deserved it (4748)

On 04/02/2013 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

#20574279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63718) - you deserved it (4715)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62767) - you deserved it (4685)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

#20575858
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30964) - you deserved it (4665)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

#20608351
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52125) - you deserved it (4663)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46022) - you deserved it (4603)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

#20574528
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41862) - you deserved it (4568)

On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

#20618055
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41809) - you deserved it (4538)

On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)



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