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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML

#20577137
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37497) - you deserved it (6816)

On 04/06/2013 at 4:51am - health - by aaaaahhhh (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

#20607010
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55646) - you deserved it (6796)

On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States

Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML

#20582400
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32315) - you deserved it (6762)

On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

#20601828
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (6748)

On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

#20605100
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42881) - you deserved it (6748)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50285) - you deserved it (6718)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML

#20609262
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52308) - you deserved it (6688)

On 04/21/2013 at 1:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37637) - you deserved it (6653)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML

#20602951
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40236) - you deserved it (6627)

On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

#20612321
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41067) - you deserved it (6564)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by 'creep' - United States (Colorado)

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53196) - you deserved it (6553)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

#20595377
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57443) - you deserved it (6489)

On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML



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