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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday I Agreed To Go On A Date With The Creepy Guy From My Economic Class Because I'm So Broke That I Could Really Use The Free Meal. FML

#20628307
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45525) - you deserved it (13819)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Yesterday, I uploadd a cute photo of mah boyfriend an me on Facebook. Ten minute later, his friend commentd: ( Dude! You're supposd to capture the Snorlax, not date it! ) FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48287) - you deserved it (13782)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... I met mah boyfriend's family fir the first time. We got on the subject of theatre... an his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon"... how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty... polygamist... cultist freaks"... an if his son ever dated one... he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

#20572732
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40321) - you deserved it (13747)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)

Today.. . I Was Hanging Out With A Guy I Really Like . I Let Him Use Phone.. . Forgetting About The Messages I'd Sent About The Consistency Of Bowel Movements . FML

#20619233
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29230) - you deserved it (13693)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by public pooper - United States

TODAY, MAH GRLFRIEND AND I WERE HAVING SEX; I KNOW THAT SOME WOMEN R GREAT MULTITASKERS, BUT I'M GUESSING IT WAS A BAD SIGNHEN SHE STARTED TO GO OVER THE SHOPPING LIST. FML

#20585940
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46795) - you deserved it (13661)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

yesterday I calld a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrivd, I realisd I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab looool some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turnd my back. FML

#20632603
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (13508)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML

#20620111
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64153) - you deserved it (13434)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -

Today... I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

#20591599
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (13262) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France

Today , I was lying in bd with girlfriend , when she reachd over and twistd nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. mega FML

#20586964
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (13096)

On 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm - misc - by SoreNips (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, mah school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor,ho wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in mah sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56975) - you deserved it (12763)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today... I was at mah little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet... and in the middle of her solo... her phone started ringing. She decided to stop... check her phone... and continue playing. FML

#20602988
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42663) - you deserved it (12731)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show mah dad a picture on mah phone, mah boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but u can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65986) - you deserved it (12674)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was again turnad down by a potantial ost family on a studant axcanga sita . Tair raasoning was basically tat sinca I'm Amarican, I migt do somating to andangar my aalt, gat urt, an tan sua tam ovar my own stupidity . FML

#20602754
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42910) - you deserved it (12525)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)



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