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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56976) - you deserved it (16030)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41285) - you deserved it (16007)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

#20627066
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39450) - you deserved it (15300)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:28am - health - by msarosi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm from eagerly scratching off a lottery ticket. No, I didn't win anything. FML

#20576976
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24978) - you deserved it (15207)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:59am - health - by Kotoko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

#20584487
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (14901)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML

#20606348
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43046) - you deserved it (14724)

On 04/19/2013 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56165) - you deserved it (14721)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML

#20586667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44634) - you deserved it (14253)

On 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by InDisbelief (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML

#20620574
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52817) - you deserved it (14152)

On 04/25/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

#20573161
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32602) - you deserved it (14094)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by nottoosmall - United States

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62132) - you deserved it (13922)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

#20611911
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39954) - you deserved it (13920)

On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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