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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

#20533106
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21723) - you deserved it (7131)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:44am - misc - by sales ham (man) - United States

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

#20530703
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33263) - you deserved it (7045)

On 03/04/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

#20542127
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (6995)

On 03/13/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by marisacb (woman) - United States

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37990) - you deserved it (6992)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

#20555131
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32584) - you deserved it (6991)

On 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Calabria)

Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

#20540616
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53214) - you deserved it (6906)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32408) - you deserved it (6886)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45316) - you deserved it (6866)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

#20547328
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32814) - you deserved it (6812)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35506) - you deserved it (6792)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52061) - you deserved it (6694)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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