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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML

#20550428
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24195) - you deserved it (6341)

On 03/19/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22708) - you deserved it (6302) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26737) - you deserved it (6147)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71271) - you deserved it (6069)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

#20557644
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35461) - you deserved it (6014)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:20am - misc - by theawesome129 - Canada

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40184) - you deserved it (5993)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48209) - you deserved it (5881)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47064) - you deserved it (5866)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML

#20557546
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (5846)

On 03/24/2013 at 3:35am - love - by whatchagonnado - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

#20553373
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44169) - you deserved it (5763)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

#20557361
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31011) - you deserved it (5759)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:14am - love - by Beestings (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

#20530380
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44632) - you deserved it (5737)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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