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March 2013

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Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

#20558609
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10320) - you deserved it (87991) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm - animals - by BaliTheDog - France

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

#20549811
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8064) - you deserved it (83276)

On 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by nohablaespanol - United States (Texas)

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

#20528725
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12522) - you deserved it (71260)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

#20539612
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9165) - you deserved it (68161)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

#20531914
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8839) - you deserved it (67947)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

#20562925
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9185) - you deserved it (66775)

On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

#20545967
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9710) - you deserved it (65057)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

#20559522
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10378) - you deserved it (62868)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20527) - you deserved it (59966)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

#20545430
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15965) - you deserved it (57798) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15132) - you deserved it (56409)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16894) - you deserved it (54656)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

#20563782
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19958) - you deserved it (54342)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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