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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , my parents askd me if I was sexually active . My grandma then screamd from upstairs , "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48508) - you deserved it (14442)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Yesterday, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refusd to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tird, we said yes. She slowly kickd me out of my side of the bd and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts fir mah kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, fir having way too many items fir the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML

#20567111
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (14013)

On 03/30/2013 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn!! Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it!! FML

#20557646
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31346) - you deserved it (12776)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me 4 a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37867) - you deserved it (12687)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

2day while working, I thought, ( I wish my kittens could text so looool I can talk to them throughout the day. ) And then I realizd, I'm that cat lady u read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32023) - you deserved it (12564)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, mah grlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51223) - you deserved it (12115)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today , I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written , heart-felt note to my ex-grlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent , she replied , "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow , that stands 4 friendship." FML

#20534297
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32616) - you deserved it (11838)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today , I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it , an as her legs just looked like they needed touching up , I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time , she cummed back , thanked me an left. Her legs were still hary. big fat FML

#20557395
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36397) - you deserved it (11782)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom

Today , a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks postd a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commentd congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who did 3 yeres ago. real FML

#20553352
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49385) - you deserved it (11585)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, I found out y my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup 4 me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's cuz he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML

#20543666
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30744) - you deserved it (11047)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred looool people already staring an laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32645) - you deserved it (11001)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

today I went out to buy a bottle of wine an some condoms. As te casier scanned te condoms , se snickered an muttered , "Yea rigt." Se was rigt; I really was just desperate to look like I ave a sex life. I got so upset tat I left ma items an walked out wit tears in ma eyes. FML

#20526083
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36942) - you deserved it (10682)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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