Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that what my husband maant by "wa should try swinging" is "I raally want to hava sax with this ona friand of yours, an if you so much as maka aya contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out an thraatan to kill him an you." FML

#20560730
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51429) - you deserved it (6741)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Yesterday... mah boyfriend got angry an threatend to dump me... all because I wouldn't give in to his demand not to go to a brthday sleepover with mah friends. He seriously think it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy an that I'll cheat on him. Thanks... PornHub. FML

#20543365
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52142) - you deserved it (6699)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, At A Romantic Dinner Boyfriend Was Treating Me To, The Waiter Brought A "Will U Marry Me?" Cake Out With Candle And Sparklers. I Probably Should Have Checked That They'd Brought It To The Right Table Before Dramatically Screaming "Yes!" And Jumping Into Boyfriend's Arms. They Hadn't. FML

#20559787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38759) - you deserved it (6688)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I kissed mah gorgeous new boyfriend 4 the first time. I ran mah hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out an five lice crawled onto mah hand. fat FML

#20554606
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50633) - you deserved it (6608)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

2day My Prom Dress Finally Arrived!! My Prom Was Yesterday!! FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49508) - you deserved it (6596)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, I finally came out to mah family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realizd I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. real FML

#20557644
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39112) - you deserved it (6523)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:20am - misc - by theawesome129 - Canada

TODAY I FOUND OUT MAH GIRLFRIEND CAN DO HEATH LEDGER'S ( JOKER ) VOICE PERFECTLY. I'M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD BE SCARED OR IMPRESSED. FML

#20529319
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (6380)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on mah phone . One of mah co-workers cummed in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn mah phone's sound off . She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting . FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27836) - you deserved it (6326)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, afterhich he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (6326)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the arport after saying goodbye to my, fir some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opend my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretendd to know wat it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51711) - you deserved it (6266)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy . I couldn't help but correct her . She apologized 4 her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore . FML

#20555528
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42569) - you deserved it (6260)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfis 4 "coosing" to start my period on is day off from work. FML

#20531170
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52853) - you deserved it (6249)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

Today , fir the sixth time in a row , I was driving mah kid to school an he made me late fir work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44750) - you deserved it (6218)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: