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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51464) - you deserved it (6741)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52171) - you deserved it (6703)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

#20559787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38792) - you deserved it (6692)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

#20554606
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50656) - you deserved it (6609)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49533) - you deserved it (6597)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

#20557644
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39140) - you deserved it (6524)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:20am - misc - by theawesome129 - Canada

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31635) - you deserved it (6384)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27853) - you deserved it (6329)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34602) - you deserved it (6329)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51745) - you deserved it (6266)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42603) - you deserved it (6261)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

#20531170
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52885) - you deserved it (6250)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML



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