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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26618) - you deserved it (7804)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43355) - you deserved it (7699)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

#20555878
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51156) - you deserved it (7601)

On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

#20535268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31079) - you deserved it (7234)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:53pm - love - by hoolabaloo (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

#20546221
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34270) - you deserved it (7085)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

#20533106
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (6972)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:44am - misc - by sales ham (man) - United States

Today, I got laid off. Walking out of the building, I saw someone on crutches and thought, "Hey, at least I can still walk." Two hours later, I blew out my knee playing basketball. FML

#20551437
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29696) - you deserved it (6919)

On 03/19/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (6913)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32226) - you deserved it (6870)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30231) - you deserved it (6839)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

#20555131
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31586) - you deserved it (6826)

On 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Calabria)

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML



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