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March 2013

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Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML

#20543737
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34561) - you deserved it (2546)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML

#20538687
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32761) - you deserved it (2544)

On 03/10/2013 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend left me because our "political views don't match" when I told her we needed to share house chores now that we live together. I know, I'm lost too. FML

#20551507
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31065) - you deserved it (2543)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by dca101 (man) - United States

Today, I moved back to my home town. My best friend and I had arranged to rent a house together that we both liked. I finished my last day at work and made the three-hour drive, only for her to break down and tell me that she isn't "ready" to move out of her parents' basement. She's 25. FML

#20540831
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (2523)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by Hopelesshomeless (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

#20535562
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32753) - you deserved it (2516)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

#20536715
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39175) - you deserved it (2494)

On 03/09/2013 at 5:35am - love - by Quiteannoyed (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

#20559804
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41533) - you deserved it (2470)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36982) - you deserved it (2455)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31357) - you deserved it (2451)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30791) - you deserved it (2437)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

#20563612
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33242) - you deserved it (2435)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34900) - you deserved it (2426)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33140) - you deserved it (2413)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia



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