Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7603) - you deserved it (67987) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6160) - you deserved it (64445)
On 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by nohablaespanol - United States (Texas)
Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9479) - you deserved it (54880)
On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6930) - you deserved it (51281)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)
Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6522) - you deserved it (50930)
On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7287) - you deserved it (50821)
On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14570) - you deserved it (50512)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7944) - you deserved it (49421)
On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8080) - you deserved it (48849)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17060) - you deserved it (46029)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13284) - you deserved it (44744) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25825) - you deserved it (42952) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11522) - you deserved it (42939)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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