Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (5963)
On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27460) - you deserved it (5903)
On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43947) - you deserved it (5861)
On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63755) - you deserved it (5861)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42985) - you deserved it (5792)
On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27326) - you deserved it (5769)
On 03/24/2013 at 3:35am - love - by whatchagonnado - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33548) - you deserved it (5751)
Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31404) - you deserved it (5692)
On 03/16/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46795) - you deserved it (5650)
On 03/10/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by themouseman1212 - United States
Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27848) - you deserved it (5646)
On 03/29/2013 at 10:19am - intimacy - by notagyno - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55208) - you deserved it (5627)
On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (5593)
On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41047) - you deserved it (5536)
On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 17 June 2013
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