Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28656) - you deserved it (13589)
On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33751) - you deserved it (13379)
On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (12959)
On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33905) - you deserved it (12889)
On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33570) - you deserved it (12633)
On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29889) - you deserved it (11889)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States
Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18859) - you deserved it (11695)
On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38284) - you deserved it (11667)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35332) - you deserved it (11296)
On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I asked a traffic cop if it was okay to park my car briefly in a Monday to Friday only parking spot, since it's Saturday. She politely replied I could. I came back less than ten minutes later, only to find a parking ticket stuck to my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (11269)
On 03/16/2013 at 4:04pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44472) - you deserved it (11192)
On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52505) - you deserved it (11026)
On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26746) - you deserved it (10851)
On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
