Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25242) - you deserved it (3750)
On 03/28/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by hellostupid (woman) - United States
Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29399) - you deserved it (3743)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)
Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34039) - you deserved it (3731)
On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, despite the fact of being together two years, and having a daughter, my fiancée still refuses to tell her parents about us. We're getting married in six months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29362) - you deserved it (3700)
On 03/02/2013 at 8:31am - love - by OhNo - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34354) - you deserved it (3685)
On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33563) - you deserved it (3677)
On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States
Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21884) - you deserved it (3667)
On 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27347) - you deserved it (3661)
On 03/08/2013 at 4:22pm - love - by Kiki (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27981) - you deserved it (3647)
On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36074) - you deserved it (3632)
On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32270) - you deserved it (3608)
On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)
Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29502) - you deserved it (3578)
On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29422) - you deserved it (3555)
On 03/30/2013 at 6:22pm - love - by J. Homen - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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