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Today..!! I gave my son a fork..!! so I could try teaching him how to eat with one!! So far..!! he's been doing all the teaching!! He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork..!! I'll get shankd!! real FML
2day my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her . My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept . She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed .
Today , I was at my job , waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible tumpers. Tey left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service , telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately , Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML
Today, it was raining eavily so I wore ma black ponco as I walkd to work. On te way tere I noticd an old and seemingly omeless man following me. I turnd around to confront im. He pickd up a stick and screamd "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. big fat FML
Today, I told my mom about the rough time I'm having over my recent break-up, an how I can't help thinking about my ex every single day. Her attempt to console me involved saying, "Pft. I bet he doesn't think about u every day" an walking away. Thanks. FML
Today , I went to the movies with mah boyfriend. The movie was in 3D , and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if u could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did , claiming the movie would be "better". fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015