Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16193) - you deserved it (41206)
On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8574) - you deserved it (40971)
On 03/01/2013 at 11:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16276) - you deserved it (40788)
On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11462) - you deserved it (39925)
On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9378) - you deserved it (38231)
On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14024) - you deserved it (36628)
On 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20159) - you deserved it (36341)
On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -
Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12827) - you deserved it (34635)
On 03/13/2013 at 12:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11095) - you deserved it (32998)
On 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm - misc - by human lava lamp (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6856) - you deserved it (32957)
Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17362) - you deserved it (32849)
On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after spending almost an hour in the dentist's waiting room, watching other people get called in for their appointments, I finally lost my patience and asked the receptionist what was taking so long. I'd forgotten to sign in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7466) - you deserved it (31217)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by oops (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15880) - you deserved it (31192)
On 03/04/2013 at 12:01am - love - by DEATHBYEX1LE - Australia
Monday 17 June 2013
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