Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36451) - you deserved it (9425)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland
Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (9402)
On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30987) - you deserved it (9169)
On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43457) - you deserved it (9083)
On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar
Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39876) - you deserved it (8848)
On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25253) - you deserved it (8808)
On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31040) - you deserved it (8736)
On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (965) - you deserved it (8726)
On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30276) - you deserved it (8405)
On 03/26/2013 at 12:15am - love - by ShouldBeSingleSoon (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I found out why my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup for me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's because he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24953) - you deserved it (8180)
On 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)
Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (8136)
On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (7974)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36829) - you deserved it (7824)
On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Monday 20 May 2013
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