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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

#20555131
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35236) - you deserved it (7351)

On 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Calabria)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

#20542127
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29205) - you deserved it (7285)

On 03/13/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by marisacb (woman) - United States

Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

#20540616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56648) - you deserved it (7280)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34952) - you deserved it (7269)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

#20530703
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35024) - you deserved it (7263)

On 03/04/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39971) - you deserved it (7202)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

#20559787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41093) - you deserved it (7050)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (6967) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54118) - you deserved it (6897)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

#20557644
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41870) - you deserved it (6892)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:20am - misc - by theawesome129 - Canada

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45512) - you deserved it (6891)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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