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March 2013

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Today, I almost lost my vrginity at the age of 34. After yeres of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am.

#20562346
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70160) - you deserved it (10601)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today I was awkwardly taking a dump at work an a coworkar in looool anotar stall startad talking sit to ma about our boss. I gruntad and agraad oping a'd sut up and laava ma alona. Tat'san a tird guy sarcastically cimad in wit insults from a tird stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (10126)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my pragnancy tast cama back positiva. My boyfriand is no fan of fatharhood, so it was with soma hasitation that I callad him an lat him know I'm pragnant. Ha rapliad, "Lika hall you ara!" an hung up. Ha now rafusas to answar any of my calls. FML

#20543527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40540) - you deserved it (9965)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Yesterday, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrivd I textd her an she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36823) - you deserved it (9767)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today... mah grlfriend an I were going to get intimate... so I masturbated before leaving mah place... hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in... she shoved me off an started screaming at me... convinced that I've been cheating on her an practising with someone else. FML

#20543433
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48169) - you deserved it (9627)

On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, in an attempt to break up with mah boyfriend, I told him, "I don't feel a mental connection between us." His reply? "Why do we need a mental connection?" FML

#20548471
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (9485)

On 03/17/2013 at 10:45pm - love - by just physical - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I GOT DUMPD DURING SEX. FML

#20563466
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69077) - you deserved it (9398)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough 4 him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything cuz "that's what women are for." FML

#20560431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35769) - you deserved it (9260)

On 03/26/2013 at 12:15am - love - by ShouldBeSingleSoon (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, mah guinea pig was resting on mah shoulder. However, I forgot to tie mah hair up and she gnawd off a clump of it that was a good 6 inche long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. real FML

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant . My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble . He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

#20536957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39729) - you deserved it (9221)

On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan

Today, I Sneezd. My Boyfriend Told Me To Sut Up. FML

#20555936
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35412) - you deserved it (8983)

On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)

Yesterday, our dog jumped on the bedhile my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closedhile he continued banging me. mega FML



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