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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17182) - you deserved it (4728)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35750) - you deserved it (4718)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27389) - you deserved it (4688)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23248) - you deserved it (4645)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33676) - you deserved it (4615)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

#20498635
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30993) - you deserved it (4576)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML

#20520149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23547) - you deserved it (4562)

On 02/24/2013 at 12:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

#20520888
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37957) - you deserved it (4552)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by pissed girlfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

#20508531
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24785) - you deserved it (4422)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Lara)

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

#20492131
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40445) - you deserved it (4421)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (4402) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (4398)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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