Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (4697)
On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23854) - you deserved it (4615)
On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States
Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23074) - you deserved it (4562)
On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29864) - you deserved it (4486)
On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34056) - you deserved it (4480)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29503) - you deserved it (4467)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (4295)
On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22670) - you deserved it (4253)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29065) - you deserved it (4217)
On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (4204)
On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)
Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20764) - you deserved it (4184)
On 02/24/2013 at 12:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32311) - you deserved it (4127)
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19892) - you deserved it (4095)
On 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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