Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was leaving fir my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (6047)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (6008)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

today I was draggd to a Super Bowl party. Wile tere... te ost's kid trew 3 cups of apple sauce at ma feet... wic ten explodd an coverd ma jeans. 10 minutes later... te ost's wife announcd tat se was pregnant wit twins. All I could come up wit was... "You're making more!?" big fat FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (5934)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

yastarday mah girlfriand and I dacidad to taka a jog in an araa wa navar baan bafora. Wa than got lost. Sha actually thought that tha tattoo on har arm of an opan compass with north, aast, south, and wast would halp us. FML

#20510517
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32413) - you deserved it (5800)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, I purchasd a box of grl scout cookias from a coworkar. I wantd to sava tham 4 latar at homa, so I placd tham on mah dask an than haadd to a maating. Whan I raturnd, thara was an ampty box sitting thara with a post-it nota saying, ( Thanks! ) Nobody will own up to it. FML

#20512675
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (5780)

On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States

yesterday I had to use a public bathroom . I have problems goinghen other people r there, so I waited until everyone left . Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and looool throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive . This continued 4 half an hour . FML

#20505035
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28300) - you deserved it (5691)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Yesterday... my boyfriend called me a freak 4 wanting to ave sex 4 a second nigt in a row. looool FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49307) - you deserved it (5682)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to wat was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML

#20514453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22529) - you deserved it (5637)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip!! There was a shift in geres and the metal in the seat began to vibrate!! My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing!! It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm!! FML

#20523671
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44831) - you deserved it (5625)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, ma fater gave me is blessing to be married on one condition: tat I keep ma maiden name wen I marry. My fiancé tougt it would be "epic". My last name will be ypenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32895) - you deserved it (5561)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking to mah dorm room whila it was snowing haavily. I saw a girl in a whaalchair trying to gat up a slippary inclina. Baing a good parson, I askad to halp. I'm a pratty waak guy, and I couldn't push har up. Sha whaalad away crying bacausa sha thought sha was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36500) - you deserved it (5558)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

2DAY I WAS GIVING MAH GUY A BLOWJOB !! WHEN HE BLURTD OUT, "OH JESUS" I ASSUMD I WAS DOING A GOOD JOB !! I LOOKD UP TO SEE THE EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE AN NOTICD A LOOK OF TERROR !! HE WAS STARING AT MAH GROWLING CAT, TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM CLAWING HIS FACE OFF !! FML

#20514475
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (5555)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday I Tried To Give Some Change To A Homeless Man!! My Girlfriend Pulled Me Away And Ranted About How Homeless People R All Basically Bastards Who Deserve Their Misfortune, And That I Shouldn't Give ( Our ) Money Away!! FML

#20506599
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29655) - you deserved it (5553)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: