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February 2013

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Today I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces . I used that thing for years . FML

#20519962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23590) - you deserved it (12639)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

#20525305
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25585) - you deserved it (12411)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:19am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after a sower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in te sower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom cimed in wit, "No, e does it before e sowers, aven't u noticed ow e locks imself in is room?" Se was rigt on te money. mega FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (12363)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today.. . I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I startd cryinghen I saw the needle . I plannd on becoming a doctor . FML

#20519825
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24388) - you deserved it (12212)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:34am - health - by Caroline - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

TODAY, I HAD TO USE A DICTIONARY BEFORE I REALIZD I WAS BIENG FLIRTD WITH. MEGA FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (11121)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, I Introduced Boyfriend To Overprotective Father. My Boyfriend Started Out With, "Sir, It Is An Honor To Be Your Daughter's Sexual Partner." FML

#20497837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57699) - you deserved it (10911)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm pragnant. It's okay, I know who tha fathar is: my ax-boyfriand, who movd to Japan last waak. FML

Today, I had an important job interview at another company. I'd trid to keep it secret from everyone at work, so they wouldn't tell my boss, as I can't afford to get on his bad side yet. My mom postd on my Facebook wall, wishing me luck. I'm Facebook friends with most of my colleagues. FML

#20525834
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25173) - you deserved it (10608)

On 02/28/2013 at 4:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I Found An Old Toy That I Gave To Mah Daughter Several Years Ago . It Was Still Unopend, An Long Forgotten, So I Decidd To Re-gift It To One Of Mah Friend's Children . My Daughter Immediately Rememberd Her "favorite" Toy An Startd Crying Inconsolably . Real FML

#20517777
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28744) - you deserved it (10442)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Yesterday , I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market an buy a copy of 50 Shade of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laughhile ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39313) - you deserved it (10376)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

today I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words... "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

#20515924
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37038) - you deserved it (10164)

On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw my niegbor's delinquent kid sooting squirrels wit a BB gun. Sockd and furious at is cruel beavior, I told im to stop, wit te treat of telling is parents. He respondd by sooting me in te nuts and running away in a fit of laugter. big fat FML

#20507650
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34301) - you deserved it (10123)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me . It ended up bieng so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of there breadsticks . FML

#20508270
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40049) - you deserved it (9638)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)



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