Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (2729)
On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (2721)
On 02/13/2013 at 4:01pm - kids - by mattrd (man) - United States
Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she can do "so much better". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38335) - you deserved it (2699)
On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27958) - you deserved it (2697)
On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (2688)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29870) - you deserved it (2648)
On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43595) - you deserved it (2646)
On 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by excusemeprincess (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19356) - you deserved it (2630)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:21pm - health - by NewDrugs (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26446) - you deserved it (2584)
On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (2560)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (2553)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (2528)
On 02/16/2013 at 3:47am - health - by Chuffberry - United States (Colorado)
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22436) - you deserved it (2517)
On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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