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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (4321)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

#20513141
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (4313)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29954) - you deserved it (4304)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

#20501411
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32092) - you deserved it (4280)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (4273)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72827) - you deserved it (4242)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML

#20522936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36078) - you deserved it (4227)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33910) - you deserved it (4191)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38513) - you deserved it (4171)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44930) - you deserved it (4148)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56504) - you deserved it (4147)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31849) - you deserved it (4120)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States



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