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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38914) - you deserved it (3652)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

#20492292
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19726) - you deserved it (3580)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27465) - you deserved it (3537)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15320) - you deserved it (3530)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML

#20517316
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (3505)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by PoorMe - United States

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26916) - you deserved it (3501)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (3495)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (3476)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML

#20510431
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22741) - you deserved it (3472)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:20am - misc - by bananamontana85 - United Kingdom (Wigan)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (3458)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

#20496132
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15545) - you deserved it (3447)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by gilbirds (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (3425)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

#20507681
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33842) - you deserved it (3411)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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