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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a guy I went on one date wit asked me out again via text. Being onest, I texted back, politely saying tat e was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He cummed over to ouse, screaming about ow awful I was fir "text message breaking up wit im" an ten cracked windsield. FML

#20522936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (4219)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States

Today... a male employee at a soe sop elpd me try on soes. Once I found a pair... I went to pay for tem. I was telling te casier about ow great of an employee e was wen se told me tere were no male employees. A guy wit a foot fetis elpd me fine soes. FML

#20489969
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (4168)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I Was On The Treadmill At The Gym, When I Felt My Pants Start Slipping. I Trid To Pull Them Up, But Lost My Balance And Fell Face-first Onto The Floor. When I Go To My Wedding Tomorrow, Half The Guest Will Probably Think I've Exchangd My Fiancé 4 Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29392) - you deserved it (4165)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because mah husband thinks ( expiration dates r fir pussies. ) FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (4156)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, husband startd a conversation with, ( In Pokémon ) and endd the same conversation with ( and that'shy we should divorce . ) FML

#20495499
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44792) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called mah wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56338) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband an children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil an barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28210) - you deserved it (4113)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen!! As I excitedly putted it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it lyk one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable"!! FML

#20488292
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (4108)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, while at church, I receivd a text from mah girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was mah phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside mah now ex-girlfriend. FML

#20511071
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34094) - you deserved it (4101)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

TODAY I MET MAH MOTHER'S DEEPLY RELIGIOU FIANCÉ FOR THE FRST TIME. HIS RESPONSE UPON SEIENG ME WAS TO LOOK ME SQUARE IN THE EYE AND SAY, ( YOU'LL NEED TO TAKE OUT THAT NOSE STUD OR I'M AFRAID YOU'LL NOT BE WELCOME IN OUR HOME. ) FML

#20513141
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36358) - you deserved it (4088)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

YESTERDAY, I CASUALLY MENTIOND TO MAH DAD THAT IT WAS THE CHINESE NEW YEAR YESTERDAY. HE ACCUSD ME OF INSULTING HIS INTELLIGENCE BY ( MAKING STUPID SHIT UP. ) I EXPLAIND THAT IT'S REAL, AND THAT WE JUST USE THE GREGORIAN CALENDAR, HENCE THE DIFFERENT DATES. HE RESPONDD BY GROUNDING ME. FML

#20501411
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (4076)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, mah boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to mah grandmahile at mah house!! She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening looool to press charges!! I still don't knowhose side to take!! FML

#20518703
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (4045)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today the guy that I've likd for ahile but never had the courage to talk to was wereing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly askd ( Are u the Doctor? ) His response was for me to ( Go away f***ing nerd. ) FML

#20492128
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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