Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (3811)
On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (3771)
On 02/07/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by BonGoWash - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25516) - you deserved it (3768)
On 02/24/2013 at 12:48am - love - by great_just_great (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19237) - you deserved it (3751)
On 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm - animals - by akasoor - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24351) - you deserved it (3744)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31979) - you deserved it (3715)
On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23588) - you deserved it (3687)
On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38788) - you deserved it (3647)
On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21915) - you deserved it (3619)
On 02/04/2013 at 3:47pm - money - by perfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19664) - you deserved it (3577)
On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (3530)
On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)
Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15261) - you deserved it (3529)
Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (3496)
On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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