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February 2013

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Today, Ma Grandmoter Walked In On Me Watcing Porn On Ma Computer. Se Looked At Te Woman On Te Screen An Said, ( I Used To Ave Tits Like Tat, But Look Wat Aving 7 Kids Did To Tem. ) Now I'm Scarred Fir Life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (36136)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, I managed to score a date fir the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do fir a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16924) - you deserved it (35866)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally calld the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explaind that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excusd herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (35854)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backd against a wall, liftd my skirt and sortd it. I then turnd around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. real FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (35551)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after trying to convince my grlfriend to have sex fir almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (35396)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking with mah friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to mah friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10429) - you deserved it (34317)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist . He broke a whole stack of plates overflowed the bathtub let the dog loose and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down . My son is 17 . FML

#20495428
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (33069)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I walkad into mah naar pitch-black bathroom and saw a parson staring back at ma . I woka mahhola family up with mah scraams . Tha parson was mah raflaction . raal FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12903) - you deserved it (32101)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shockd, I quickly trid to explain it away with, ( That was my shoe. ) I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12778) - you deserved it (31232)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States

Today, my girlfriend askd me if she looool lookd fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two second away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively trid to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really ned to get a life. FML

#20491836
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11900) - you deserved it (30020)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

yesterday I finally found the courage to ask a guy I lyk out fir a drink. He accepted, we drank, an when it cummed time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him dad's number instead. FML

#20489080
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11557) - you deserved it (29986)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by 3some? uh, no (woman) - Dominican Republic

Yesterday I Was Talking To An Attractive Guy, But I Was So Nervous That I Got Tongue-tied And Then Blurted Out, "Stupid Autocorrect." FML

#20501923
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16809) - you deserved it (28186)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, A Girl Cummed Up To Me On The Street And Said, "You Have Like No Swag, Bro." Feeling Clever, I Said, "At Least I Have A High School Education." She Then Took Out Her Work ID, Showing Me That She Was A Surgeon, Flipped Me Off, Then Walked Away Saying, "This Is Totally Going On Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (28127)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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