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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37943) - you deserved it (6056)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24612) - you deserved it (6036)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28546) - you deserved it (6002)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34314) - you deserved it (5928)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

#20512675
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25416) - you deserved it (5769)

On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28236) - you deserved it (5686)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31125) - you deserved it (5647)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to what was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML

#20514453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (5635)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36395) - you deserved it (5552)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32836) - you deserved it (5552)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML

#20506599
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29587) - you deserved it (5545)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

#20513755
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28405) - you deserved it (5517)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47553) - you deserved it (5491)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States



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