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Today , I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing , an later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out , an thinking I was in trouble , broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML
Today, the arts company I work 4 cancelld our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, an will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office traind in ticketing. It stoppd raining 10 minutes after we cancelld it. FML
Yesterday , at my retail job , a woman cummd to my till wit er purcases. After I scannd all er items , se andd me two small bags. One was filld wit nickel and dimes. Te oter was filld wit cents. Her total was $28.53. Te coins amountd to $22.30. FML
Today, bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, an grounded me. All thishile brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity.
Taday I finishd booking the non-refundable cruise fir mah wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that mah mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she calld back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML
Today, my very conservative mom met my grlfriend, who recently shavd her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My grlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confusd transgender". real FML
I got locked out of mah car 4 an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station!! Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work!! The car company claims they've never heard of this happening!! I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan!! FML
Today , the new manager at workplace left early in a panic , exclaiming , ( My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay! ) I was left in charge of the bar once again . This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an ( accident ) . FML
Today, really desperate to get a job, I filld out an application fir a dishwashing job!! My application got tossd out, because I'm not an economics major lyk the other guy applying fir the same job!! FML
2day mah mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using mah ( common sense ) an ( intellect ) . I need the class to graduate . FML
Friday 27 March 2015