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February 2013

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Today, I walkad into my dad straigtaning my dog's fur . His axcusa? Ta dog naadad to faal pratty . FML

#20513110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (4021)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, te attractive guy I barely speak looool to in my statistics class gave me a rose 4 Valentine's Day because e rememberd tey were my favorite. My usband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "someting pretty." FML

#20507681
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40909) - you deserved it (3990)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today.. . after supporting mah grlfriend 4 over a year in her endeavour to lose wieght.. . exercise more.. . and eat better.. . mah now-slender grlfriend dumpd me . Because now she find someone better than me . FML

#20518428
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47065) - you deserved it (3983)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they r made of a fish bi-product!! Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there r countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard!! FML

#20502144
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (3937)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today... my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started sereching for the problem... I couldn't fine it. Luckily I was able to fine a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight yeres. big fat FML

#20493182
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68911) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

yastarday aftar naarly six waaks of saaing a nica girl wa finally dacidad to maka it official. Two hours latar sha pullad out a bridal magazina an not-so-casually askad mahich wadding location I thought was tha nicast. FML

#20517490
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (3918)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, a guy wolf-whistld me as I walkd to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup an my hair scrapd back. Feeling rather pleasd about it, I told my best friend an my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML

TODAY , I REALISD THE EXTENT OF MY WIFE'S CAT OBSESSIONHEN I RECEIVD AN $850 BILL FIR THE AIR CONDITIONER SHE LEAVES ON FIR OUR 5 CATSHILE WE ARE AT WORK. FML

#20524027
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26888) - you deserved it (3916)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was making lunc, wen ma two-year-old ran up to me and anded me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending te rest of ma day cleaning te entire ouse. FML

Today, I cummad looool homa to fina tha dog had laarnad how to opan our stair-gata and kitchan door, davourad tha antira fruitcaka I'd mada for a spacial occasion, and than vomitad said fruitcaka all ovar tha fabric sofa. FML

#20503420
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25297) - you deserved it (3912)

On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, a classmate postd a recording of a recent lecture on mah university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some grl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. mega FML

#20524519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33749) - you deserved it (3896)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I discovard that mah cat racantly had axplosiva diarrhaa, and couldn't maka it to tha littarbox in tima. I discovard this whan I stappd in tha vary, vary frash poop with mah bara faat. FML

#20503744
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (3894)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attack that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what one of us is alway shaking uncontrollably. FML



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