Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43438) - you deserved it (2640)
On 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by excusemeprincess (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26343) - you deserved it (2578)
On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30913) - you deserved it (2543)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21892) - you deserved it (2539)
On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23225) - you deserved it (2537)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27846) - you deserved it (2528)
On 02/16/2013 at 3:47am - health - by Chuffberry - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29163) - you deserved it (2519)
On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (2516)
On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45214) - you deserved it (2511)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32029) - you deserved it (2503)
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22687) - you deserved it (2499)
On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (2493)
On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (2489)
On 02/06/2013 at 4:05pm - health - by AplJax3 (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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