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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I Got Married On Skyrim . To An Elf . Wile In Real Life , Ma Love Life Is Floundering Like A Alf-dead Carp In Te Surf On A Ot Day . So Muc So In Fact Tat I Actually Draw A Measure Of Comfort From Being Married To An Elf . FML

#20501864
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (9630)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

yesterday I was at mah friend's house , when she commentd that her dog's fur kept getting tangld cuz of its length. I reachd over to tickle his tummy , felt a big tangld knot and agred that he needd a good grooming. Then I realizd what I'd grabbd wasn't fur. big fat FML

#20523003
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27626) - you deserved it (9521)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

yesterday while I was in the shower boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43131) - you deserved it (9402)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I walkd in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I askd him wat the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion looool film calld "All Dressd Up with Nowhere to go." fat FML

#20510302
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today , after 2 weeks of not having sex , my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39893) - you deserved it (9219)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my parents thathat I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, an have been wanting for months. They laughed an said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone an perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (9154)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, I locked my keys in my truck. The good news is that I have a spare set in my house. The bad news is that my house key is on the same keyring as my locked-in truck key. big fat FML

#20521895
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25128) - you deserved it (9125)

On 02/25/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by burning balls of fuck this - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to explain tohite girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40879) - you deserved it (8652)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26192) - you deserved it (8640)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

today I was playing Slandar, wan I caugt a glimpsa of ta Slandarman. I jumpd in my cair, latting rip a uga fart in ta procass. Nobody aard it, but only bacausa my sriaks of tarror drownd out ta sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (8622)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND KICKED ME OUT AN THREATENED TO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AFTER I CALLED HIM AN ASSHOLE. I'M 16 WEEKS PREGNANT AN OVER 1,000 MILES AWAY FROM MY PARENTS' HOUSE. FML

#20519336
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38441) - you deserved it (8502)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today... I desperately needed to pee... so I decided to confront my anxiety issues an use a public toilet. I opened te lid... only to see several uge... rancid floaters staring back at me. I ad an attack... started sobbing... an pissed myself on te way ome. Never again. FML

#20489333
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28070) - you deserved it (8491)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)



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