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February 2013

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Today, mah boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, mah boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond."

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (6705)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on mah chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, mah 11-year-old daughter cummd over and bangd out 12 of them. Then she wipd her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on mah technique. FML

#20493569
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (6690)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today , while at the nail salon , mah boyfriend called. Since I was getting mah nails done , I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear thier snickering in mah head. FML

#20521938
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32683) - you deserved it (6684)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)

looool Today, I unknowingly bougt a ouse next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in te paper were residents are claiming tat tey are experiencing cancer and brt defects. FML

#20503049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29838) - you deserved it (6665)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today , I actually considered mah boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML

#20488602
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (6238)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. mega FML

#20503854
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26118) - you deserved it (6187)

On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)

Today, boss told me to go outside and take part in te company's stupid Harlem Sake video. Wen I declined, e treatened to fre me if I didn't take part. I ended up bieng te guy wo ad to furiously pelvic trust before te music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36296) - you deserved it (6156)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

TODAY, AFTER EXPLAINING TO MAH FOUR-YEAR-OLD WHY OUR NEW PUPPY WAS PEEING ON THINGS TO MARK HIS TERRITORY, MAH SON DECIDD TO FOLLOW SUIT AN PEE ALL OVER OUR HOUSE!! FML

#20509972
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (6149)

On 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, mah fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make mah boobs larger . It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again . fat FML

#20499439
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53132) - you deserved it (6128)

On 02/09/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I attended my frst surgery as part of my program at med scool. I found out tat wen I see someone's intestines , I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. Tere goes te tousand of dollar I spent on college. FML

#20495058
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (6114)

On 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm - health - by A troubled ex med school student - United States (Ohio)

I'm so poor tat I've been scrounging around ma ouse all day trying looool to find quarters and dimes so tat I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML

#20521315
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26529) - you deserved it (6108)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Taday I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No , I mean at Wendy's. You know , the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (6094)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I dacidd to surprisa ma boyfriand by quiatly undrassing and snaaking into ta batroom to join im in ta sowar . Ha was bant ovar taking a dump, pusing is turd down ta plugola . FML

#20524189
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38026) - you deserved it (6065)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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