Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9852) - you deserved it (28549)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24756) - you deserved it (27683)
On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7940) - you deserved it (27294)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9649) - you deserved it (24679)
On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16713) - you deserved it (24310)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8537) - you deserved it (24266)
On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16565) - you deserved it (24267)
On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8495) - you deserved it (24008)
On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9167) - you deserved it (21844)
On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23843) - you deserved it (21676)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9247) - you deserved it (21600)
On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9871) - you deserved it (21367)
On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8713) - you deserved it (19582)
On 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by 3some? uh, no (woman) - Dominican Republic
Monday 17 June 2013
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