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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to what was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML

#20514453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22634) - you deserved it (5653)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

#20501469
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27820) - you deserved it (5624)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm - animals - by akasoor - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML

#20519650
78 comments

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36765) - you deserved it (5595)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39639) - you deserved it (5569)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33037) - you deserved it (5569)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

#20516708
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (5481)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML

#20493202
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (5478)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:47pm - money - by perfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22214) - you deserved it (5456)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

#20510821
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35616) - you deserved it (5387)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Botswana (North-East)

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

#20520888
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45097) - you deserved it (5331)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by pissed girlfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML

#20496887
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (5317)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by BonGoWash - United States (New York)

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

#20492292
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26874) - you deserved it (5304)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States



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