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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me.

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (2201)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States

Today, My Mom Barged Into My Room At Three In The Morning, Demanding To Know Where I'd Been. I'd Been In My Room Sleeping Since Ten O'clock. In That Time She Had Called The Police, All Of My Friends, And My Ex-boyfriend, Asking If I Was With Them. FML

#20479024
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (2194)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

yesterday someone sent my boss a CD full of documents 4 an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

#20441300
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30105) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:36pm - work - by fucked five ways to friday (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was making wedding plans with mah fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

Today, mah daughter trid to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was cuz a hot coal somehow workd its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. real FML

#20478067
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26377) - you deserved it (2173)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I discovarad tat ma downstairs naigbor is running a businass out of ar apartmant. Or I sould say, ar looool pimp is. FML

#20473717
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27052) - you deserved it (2169)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in yard an would let me outside. I called animal control,ho said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32654) - you deserved it (2157)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at mah cousin's birthday party, mah grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that looool tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. real FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27996) - you deserved it (2141)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was tha last parson in lina fir going on tha bus. Incidantally, I was right bahind a guy way tallar and widar than ma. Whan ha got on tha bus, tha bus drivar immadiataly shut tha door bahind him. I was laft outsida chasing aftar tha bus. FML

#20462065
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32210) - you deserved it (2125)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today..!! I Was On A Ladder At Work..!! Fetching Some Stock From One Of The Storage Shelves!! Some Teenage Kid Thought It Would Be Fucking Hilarious To Grab The Ladder And Violently Shake It!! He Hadn't Bet On Me Bieng Startld Enough To Fall Off And Fracture Mah Elbow On The Floor!! FML

#20481589
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32851) - you deserved it (2100)

On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (2094)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today I spent most of mah daughter's 8th brthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was putted in a cast. Apparently mah son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on there 8th brthday before encouraging her to fine out by jumping off the slippery slide. mega FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24402) - you deserved it (2083)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, te last customer of te nigt sift anded me tere money along wit a wad of tere air . FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (2064)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States



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